ധ്രുവദീപ്തി // Divine Thoughts // Family // Happiness in Marriage / by Elsy Mathew, Bangalore.

Divine Thoughts // Family // Happiness in Marriage / by Elsy Mathew, Bangalore.

 Happiness in Marriage - 

A good marriage is like an incredible retirement fun. 

You put everything you have into it during your productive life, 

and over the years it turns from silver to gold to platinum-Willard Scott. 


 A wedding is an event, 

but marriage is an achievement –Anonymous


 You husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that 

 they are the weaker sex. 

Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, 

God’s gift of life. 

Do this so that nothing will interfere with your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7) 

  by Elsy Mathew, Bangalore.

Elsy mathew

Monica married Robert. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her the passbook of a newly opened saving account in a bank. The passbook showed a deposit of Rs 1,000. While handing over the passbook, her mother said, “Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your married life. When there's something happy and memorable happening in your new life, put some money in. Write down what the occasion is about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Robert. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.” Monica shared this with Robert on getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make the second deposit. The deposits grew during the years.

— 7 Feb: Rs 100, first birthday celebration for Robert after marriage
— 1 Mar: Rs 300, salary rise for Monica
— 20 Mar: Rs 200, vacation trip to Goa
— 1 Jun: Rs 1,000, Robert got promoted
and so on...

However, after a few years, they started fighting and arguing about trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the wrong people in the world. There was no more love. One day, Monica talked to her Mother. “Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We have mutually agreed to a divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!” Her mother said, “Sure, Monica. That's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the savings account passbook I gave you on your wedding day.  Take out all the money and spend it. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.” 

Monica thought it was a good idea. So she went to the bank and waited at the queue, planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook entries. She looked, looked and looked. Then the memory of all moments that brought joy and happiness came flooding to her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Robert and asked him to spend the money before getting the divorce. The next day, Robert gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs 5,000. And a line next to the record: “This is the day I noticed how much I've loved you through all these years and how much happiness you've brought me.” They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter anymore after they had shared so many happy and memorable years in their life. When you fall, in any way, don’t look at the place where you fell. Instead try and see where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes.

"You wives must submit to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe God's word, your conduct will win them over to believe. It will not be necessary for you to say a word, because they will see how reverent your conduct is". (1 Peter 3: 1)

A pastor in England says that he has saved many marriages simply by showing the married couple motion pictoures of their happy wedding day, whenever a serious misunderstanding develops that could split the union. The clergyman takes movies of the newlyweds as they  leave his church then suggests that they see him if they quarrel. “By the time the film is half over most couples are holding hands,” the 51 year old pastor explained. “And by the time it’s over they’re as happy as they were when they walked out of my church on  their wedding day.” It is good for all to get back to fundamentals from time to time. But we ought not to wait until trouble or emergencies force us to do so. These can be averted if we do it with regular frequency. Not only the marriage ceremony, but the Ten Commandments and the many revealed truths of God should be kept at our finger tips. Keep familiar with the basic principles of your religious and moral life.

A man asked his father -in-law, " Many people praised you for your successfull marriage. Could you please share with me your secret"? The father -in-law answered with a smile, " Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weakness, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he will look around to find a scapegoat to point a finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. Do not marry a person whom you know you can live with, only marry someone that you cannot live without.

"Men always need a beutiful wife, caring wife, adjustablewife, cooperative wife; but unfortunately law allows only one wife -Anon.
Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies, A man who loves his wife loves himself.( Ephesians 5:28)". 

 
In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us. I believe that we are happiest when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad.

 Someone has said that marriage is like a zipper. There are two rows of teeth on a zipper. These teeth fit into one another very neatly. But you can never fasten the zipper unless you use the little zip that draws the teeth together and locks them. In marriage it is the same way. Two people may be as close together as the two sides of a zipper, but if they leave God out of their life and marriage, then they are like a zipper without its zip. It just won't work. As Bishop Sheen used to say, "it takes three to get married. a man and a woman and God.

They must teach what is good, 
in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 
to be self-controlled and pure, 
and to be good housewives who submit to their husbands, 
so that no one will speak evil of the message 
that comes from God. (Titus 2:4).

 ----------------------------------------------------

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