Montag, 12. Mai 2014

ധ്രുവദീപ്തി · // Society / Divine Thoughts-/ Getting married is easy- by Elsy Mathew, Bangalore

ധ്രുവദീപ്തി · //  Society

Divine thoughts -by Elsy Mathew.
Successful Marriage
Getting married is easy, staying married is more difficult, 
staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts—Roberta Flack

 Elsy mathew 
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"  The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."  

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

Many married people think that when they marry they possess their partner much as they possess and own a fridge or a stove or a radio. But man and wife don't belong to one another, they have been given to one another. They keep their identity.  As the Labanese poet, Kahlil Gibran says, "In the temple the pillars stand alone. And just because of that they carry the beautiful ceiling." Take a look at any Church or large building, the pillars are never together, or in pairs. No. They are spaced out. Even in Nature we have this tolerance and trust. Beautiful trees like cypresses and oaks never grow in one another's shadow. Shadows stunt tree growth and shape and size. True love needs distance. The more a partner can allow his or her partner the sense of personal freedom, the more often will he or she receive that partner in return as a free and willingly given gift.
In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?  I believe that we are happiest when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad.

Nobody is perfect but we can find perfectness in them to change the way we see them.

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations.

Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true. A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." she offered. "Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."  The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with. The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.  "I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it.  Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband's eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list." The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.

"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily. Quietly the husband stated,"I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."

The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

There was a German in the Ashram. He fell in love with an  Italian woman. But this man was divorced thrice before. He felt this is the ideal soul mate. He asked me, “Guruji, (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar) I have met this Italian woman, she is my ideal soul mate. I want to marry her. But the problem is she doesn’t know German and I don’t know Italian. How can we live a happy life together? He said, “Don’t teach her German and you don’t learn Italian, you will live happily.” Now they are married for the last 13 years. 

The Bible says: “They are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together.” (Mathew 19:6).

A good marriage is like an incredible retirement fund. You put everything you have into it during your productive life,
and over the years it turns from silver to gold to platinum 

-- Willard Scott

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